"Just One Sip"

Somehow even with all my struggles to leave the past behind and move on with my life.  The smallest sign of hope lead me spiraling back into the wrong direction.  I was life an alcoholic...to me "just one sip" was never just that when it came to Alex.  I had been actually been doing quite well, going on dates, spending time with family, getting my school work done, and then when I finally forgot about him for a second he decided to send me a friend request on facebook.  That triggering a string of emotions I had done my best to try to leave behind.  I will just send him on text saying "Happy thanksgiving"  I said trying to convince myself that the bullshit I was saying was actually true.  But unlike every other time, one text turned into a 45 minute conversation that ended with me feeling hopeful that Alex and I might just work out.

'Never Have I Ever'...For a Very Good Reason.

     What do you do when the love of your life becomes "the one that got away?"  Well unfortunately, despite my greatest efforts, I actually don't have an answer for this question.  Though, I have been doing my best to find one.  The definition of insanity is: "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." That being said, I decided the only way to break the chain of bad dates was to try something new!  So today I had breakfast with a 23 year old Asian that I found on tinder.  I have never been into Asians. My type is tall, skinny, white guys, but I decided to change it up. Well...I guess there is a reason I have never dated an Asian before, because 'never have I ever' quickly turned into 'never should I ever.'  It was all actually going pretty well at first. He was tall, opened my door for me, and there was just the right amount of playful banter.  It continued to go well until he leaned in for the kiss. There was actually not a single spark, in fact it felt like I was kissing my asian best friend Lulu who has the exact same shaped face.  I guess that just shows that you can't force yourself to be physically attracted to someone you're not. Needless to say there will be no second or third date.  Tonight though I am going on another date with a guy from tinder at 8pm.  Hopefully that will go better.